Isabella Lacefield
NEW School
Neto
December 8, 2016
The Worst Days of My Life
I’ll never forget that night. I knew he was sick, but I didn’t know he was that sick. My husband and I thought it was the flu. Dylan’s had always been a very healthy boy, so we figured he had caught something at school, and we made him stay home until it passed. We thought the vomiting would eventually go away until we heard him a few days later.. It was three in the morning and I had never been more scared in my life. John and I woke up to the sound of our seven year old son violently vomiting. We ran to his bedroom to find him leaning over his bed, puking on the ground. My husband and I rushed over to him to console and calm him down, I noticed one of his eyes was almost looking up in his skull. He couldn’t stop retching. My husband’s eyes met mine. I knew it was time “We have to get him to a doctor, now!”
I had never been so scared in my life, until now. Now we wait, wait to hear what is wrong with our son. John and I hold hands silently, entrapped in our own grim thoughts, wondering what’s happening to our son. I stare at the white tile. I don’t even dare to look up because I am afraid. I don’t know what I’m afraid of, but I know I’ll have a good reason soon.
“Mr. and Mrs. Pierce?”
I looked up and saw the deliverer of my fears, the doctor. I didn’t speak because I didn’t want to know. I wanted a few more moments of everything being alright. No, I wanted to go back to a few weeks ago when Dylan was a happy and healthy boy.
“We’ve scanned him with an MRI and discovered that there is a medulloblastoma tumor on Dylan’s cerebellum.”
I felt my heart stop. I couldn’t speak, and I didn’t want to. I looked back down at the white tile and just stared at it. This couldn’t be happening, not to my little Dylan, he’s only 7. He doesn’t deserve this.
“Our son… has cancer?” my husband asked, keeping his face in his hands.
“I understand that this must be shocking to you. It is common for this kind of tumor to be found in children Dylan’s age. We can surgically remove it and he will have a good chance of surviving.”
No one responded, neither my husband or I could bear to look up.
“Has your son been experiencing problems with basic coordination skills, headaches, vomiting, drowsiness, changes in appetite, or unusual eye movements?” the doctor asked, keeping a sincere voice that really didn’t help.
My husband looked at him, “We thought he had the flu,” his voice cracked, his eyes teared up and he put his face back in his hands, shaking his head in dismay.
“That is completely understandable, a lot of parents do. This must be very difficult for you to take in, I’m going to leave you two alone. Take all the time you need.” The doctor quietly walked away, leaving us in the waiting room wondering if our son would live to be eight years old.
I started to cry. It was the only thing I could do, my son has cancer. “Am… am,” My voice shook “ am I a...a bad mom?” I looked away from the white tile for the first time in what felt like an eternity, and saw John, his eyes glistening from tears. He was twisting his wedding ring on his finger anxiously.
“No, no, no, no, no,” He reached his arm over and pulled me in, “any mother would have done the same thing”. He held me tight as I sobbed into his chest.
“I should… should have k-known something w-was wrong.” I couldn’t stop the tears, John held me tighter and rubbed my back.
“You couldn’t have known.” He continued to rub big circles on my back as I slowly calmed down, “We need to be brave, for Dylan”.
I looked up at him and nodded. I had to think about our son, he needs John and I if he’s going to survive.
“The doctor said he has a good chance of surviving the surgery. Dylan’s a strong, brave boy, he can handle this.”
“Okay.”
Weeks had passed and Dylan had been through multiple radiation and chemo treatments. The doctor was planning on surgically removing the tumor tonight. I was scared. Dylan stayed strong through it all, he’s somehow managed to stay happy through all this. As I stand outside Dylan’s room and watch the doctors prep him for surgery through the window, I’m scared. There was always that chance of my son never waking up again, that one chance of my son dying. I can’t imagine life without him, he always brightens up my day and grounds me.
“Mrs. Pierce?” The doctor interrupted my thoughts and was standing next to me.
I cleared my throat and look over, obviously on the verge of crying. “Yes?”
“We’re about to take him up for surgery, do you want to walk with us to the operating room?”
I wiped my eyes “Yes, that sounds great.”
John and I walked on either side of the gurney memorizing every feature of Dylan’s face before they took him away.
“Why are you so sad, Mommy?” Dylan looked up at me, he was so cute, even with his little hair net on and the bags under his eyes.
I wiped my eyes again and plastered a smile on my face “I’m not sad, I’m just really going to miss you while you’re in surgery, that’s all.”
Dylan looked up at me with his big eyes “You’ll see me after, it’ll be over before you know it.”
I doubted that. “Alright honey” I said as I smiled down on him.
“I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Pierce, but this is as far as you can go.” The doctor interrupted as the gurney stopped at a big door.
Both John and I hugged Dylan as long and as tight as we could, I inhaled his scent and held onto it for as long as possible before I would say goodbye. “I love you.” we said to Dylan.
“I love you too.” Dylan said as the doctors began to roll him away to the operating room. “See you soon” he shouted before the doors closed behind him.
I felt the world stop. That might have been the last time I will ever see my son. A nurse came and escorted John and I to the waiting room where we waited. It was the longest I had ever waited for anything in my life. We sit there in silence waiting for either joyous news or devastating, earth shattering news. John every so often would go get us coffee and walk around but I never moved. When I was on the verge of sleep, John shook me awake.
“The doctor’s coming.”
Works Cited
“Medulloblastoma” American Brain Tumor Association, http://www.abta.org/brain-tumor-information/types-of-tumors/medulloblastoma.html?referrer=https://www.google.com/
Vapiwala,Neha & Plastaras, John P. “All About Medulloblastoma” OncoLink, June 5, 2016.
https://www.oncolink.org/cancers/pediatric/information/brain-tumors/all-about-medulloblastoma